I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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