Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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