i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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