Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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