Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
