There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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