I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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