absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
