we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
