was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
