I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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