new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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