I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
