dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
