I only kidnapped one of them. chill
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
