Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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