So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
