i just wanna soil my oats bro
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
