And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
