Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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