u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
