Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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