32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I FOUND THE LEGS
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
