I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
