you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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