ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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