i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
