I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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