Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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