the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the day after is always just damage control
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
