UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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