ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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