Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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