he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
