I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
