I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
