I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
