it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
