also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
