so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
