just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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