dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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