is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
