We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
