From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
