I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
