Sponge bath it is.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
