Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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