i don't plan on having that self control this summer
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
