I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
