i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
