yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
