I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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