i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish my penis had an off switch
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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